You can’t choose your family--not even for THANKSGIVING. At least that’s what they tell me. So what happens when you don’t feel like hearing Aunt Sally who never has her own crap together, but feels free to question you on EVERYTHING in your life at the Thanksgiving dinner get together? First, simply know what you want to respond to--and remember not everything requires a response. However if you are quick on your feet you can send a clear message that gets the job done and keep your sanity.
1. Know your family: you know who in your family is messy; picky, nosey, opinionated, ignorant, provocative, childish, hot tempered, or just plain rude. Keep the conversations to a minimal. No need to defend yourself against a person who likes to keep the foolery going because they think they can--or enjoy watching others flounder. It will only annoy you. Learn to pick and choose your battles wisely.
2. Stay calm: others will attempt all they can to be “themselves” and inherently working on your nerves. Don’t let them see you sweat.
3. Alcohol: If you know alcohol isn’t a good idea for some then attempt to limit the amount that is brought into the picture. Some folks feel like they can say anything to family after a drink. Some folks will leave as soon as the liquor is gone anyway. That is called doing yourself a favor.
4. Ignore it: Ignore all that you can and learn to change the subject or walk away. Unless they are at your home for the holiday dinner, you can get up and leave. You don’t have a set time to be around your family. Leave and come back or just leave altogether or don't plan the same gettogether again with the same people.
5. No Phones: I frown upon family having to be so close to their phones because it takes away from true interaction, unless you're waiting on a long-distance call.
6. Limit: State up front that some topics of your personal life are off limit. What you make and who you're dating or who you're voting for or what your beliefs are aren't subjects you're always welcome to bring up. Don't allow someone to keep asking personal questions--that's not normal or polite banter. Ask them to please leave it alone and enjoy a Happy Thanksgiving.
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